It isn’t very often that we get Turkey and Turkish culture featured in video games. It was this, and my love of FMV games, that drew me into picking up Speed Dates when it was originally released, but I ran into technical issues trying to play it, and parked it for a while. Since that launch, the entire game has been reworked into its V2.0, bringing more branching narratives and improved translations. Thankfully, it also fixed the technical issue preventing me from playing the game, so it was the right time to dive back in.
We play as Murat, a Turkish man who gets dragged into a speed dating event by his friend, who never shows up again after the opening scene. The outside makes this place look like a pub, but once we’re sat down, it looks like a hybrid office/cafe. We are then presented with 18 women, whom we can speak to in any order, to see if we hit it off. Each character will have very specific things they value, interests they pursue, and hard stop icks that are deal breakers. By the end of the 6-8 minute interaction, they’ll either give you a green tick or a red cross to signal if they want to share numbers. In a bizarre gameplay decision, you don’t actually get to select one to “end” with or choose; the game just stops! It leaves Speed Dates hanging, and the entire game feels unresolved. Comparing this to Five Dates or Ten Dates, two other speed dating FMV games, they force choice and provide good or bad endings. They are far more rounded entries into this niche subgenre.
The interactions themselves are baffling. Most of them have only a couple of dialogue tree choices for the player to make. The game continually freezes and pauses as it loads up the next section of conversation, as if it is choosing from multiple outcomes when we haven’t actually been given a choice. Murat often contradicts himself during the same speed date, making him sound like he is untrustworthy or just disinterested. In fact, half of the cutaways to Murat reacting with non-verbal listening cues make him look utterly bored. You can tell that some scenes must have felt difficult to film, as the actor has no filter. He is either stern, bored, or chirpy and flirty.
That brings us to the 18 Turkish ladies. On the whole, the acting is not the problem here. It’s the pacing and the writing. Whenever there is a pause in the conversation, the camera lingers for a good 5-10 seconds, leaving the poor ladies finding new ways to look interested and part of the conversation. Whoever wrote the script also has a very limited view of women, too. Almost all of them declare that they love to shop and have girly time. Shopping seems to be the biggest issue of Speed Dating, because Murat has immediate negative reactions to every mention of it.
To the game’s credit, some Turkish culture does crop up in conversation, and these are the better dates to explore. What is a modern woman? Should we move in together or have sex before marriage? Do you partake in the nightlife and Turkish food culture? Is religion important? Should women be expected to earn a living or be fully supported? Speed Dates does offer a few variations on this, but then taints some of these questions with follow-ups around themes like “Well, I expect to maintain a certain lifestyle” that twist things into a more vacuous energy. That normally leads to shopping questions, and we’re back to everyone being cold-shouldered again. Topics also jump about without much sense, either.
With 18 dates, there are 54 paths with 36 endings (happy/bad for each date), and 8 hours of video you’d navigate to get there. You can’t fast-forward any scenes or skip ones you’ve seen before, so it’ll take a while if you are invested. I didn’t want to be that kind of completionist. Speed Dates has the potential to be an obscure cult-classic in the making because of its disjointed premise and scenes, alongside its stilted dialogue that forces actors to stare at each other, but without the dramatic telenovela music to heighten the tension. This is a game, best played as a drinking game for each awkward interaction and mention of shopping. Your liver won’t thank me, but it’ll make it more entertaining to play.
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